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Cry About It


The Ups, Downs and Sideways of Working Motherhood

Cry About It

Alex Steinman


It's no surprise pregnancy has made me incredibly emotional. Between the hormones and my favorite Beyoncé t-shirt stretching to a crop top because of my growing belly, I lose it at just about anything. Matt's stopped asking questions and just goes with it. My #workwife has a code that I've adopted at home. It goes something like: melt into a puddle and sob "I'm just so tired!" I'm generally a pretty emotional person anyways, and it seems this tiny woman inside of me has heightened my crazy.

Here are some things I'm crying about lately:


Unless you live under a rock, Beyoncé released the most emotionally charged album on Saturday night. Complete with artfully directed music videos, I lost my f***ing mind. It took me a full 36 hours to fully digest the insanity of her lady power.

I cried the entire way to the coffee shop I'm sitting in now listening to the album. "I'ma keep running cause a winner don't quit on themselves." Cue pyrotechnics as I scream cry the lyrics on the highway.

If you're wondering, yes, I subscribed to Tidal exclusively to listen to Beyoncé a day early. No, I'm not mad about it.

Target Lady

A few weeks ago, I left the house to go to Target but mostly to avoid the toddler nap time fight I'd been reckoning with for a while. I'm losing my ability to bend over, pick up and wrestle with sweet #gingerbaby, so the flailing, arched back, belly flops on the floor just aren't working for me.

I would have taken my time through the store, but as my hips seized up, I realized I needed to make a quick exit. I chose a checkout counter with a sloth at the cash register. Said sloth proceeded to fill bags with all the heavy things. When I asked Sloth to kindly distribute the heavy things, so I could carry them, I was met with the attitude of a teenager banned from the prom.

Seeing my struggle, a fellow mama with a toddler in tow asked if she could help carry my bags to my car. It was like she could see my soul (or more likely see that I was 6 months pregnant and on the brink of tears) and said, "I see you mama." I thanked her profusely, and by the time I got to my car, sobbed uncontrollably in the parking lot.


While in a heated debate over eating string cheese on the kitchen rug, my hips seized, and I fell down and couldn't get up. As I sat paralyzed on all fours, #Gingerbaby took the opportunity to take the cheese and run. Having lost both the battle with a toddler and my dignity, I couldn't help but tear up at the situation.

We know we'll hit our deductible this year with all the prenatal expenses, so Matt and I have been discussing a hip replacement for me and a vasectomy for him. Deductibles are like coupons, right?


When the nerve shot cooled down from the above situation, I slowly got up to find the fugitive. I found him when he smacked me square in the face with a plastic golf club. Unable to move swiftly enough, I awkwardly, picked him up under one arm, found my husband in the garage and said I was all done with parenting for the day. I proceeded to sob at the situation in my bedroom, followed by a 45 minute nap. Peace be with you.


Since my post about finding time for myself and the newbie, I've been going to yoga once a week. A little quiet and self-reflection has gone a long way, and I'm finding I enjoy being with myself more (I'm assuming other people do as well).

There's a phenomenal prenatal instructor at Blooma in Minneapolis who sings in class, which causes me to immediately ugly cry. It ain't pretty, but I assume everyone is following instructions and keeping their eyes closed. There's magic in someone singing to a group of strong mamas and their strong babies that gets me every time.


I was at a wonderful event tonight for MPLS MadWomen where #ladyboss Erinn Farrell spoke some serious truth about being vulnerable in public. She said that allowing ourselves to show emotion in front of others (what could be perceived as a weakness) opens the door for others to share their own vulnerabilities. Perhaps I'm learning this by default, as I currently have zero self-control.